When Nurses See More Than Birth and Babies – By Shelly Lopez Gray

Shelly Lopez Gray, a maternity ward nurse writes about the tragedy of still birth.

Kindness Blog

sad nursePerinatal nursing is sweet and magical and everything you think it would be. But everyone only thinks of the birth and the babies. No one ever thinks or talks about the pain of pregnancy, the heartbreak of infertility or the difficulty of death.

One day, I was working triage and I seemed to be seeing patient after patient. By lunchtime, I had finally cleared all the beds in triage and was finally going to eat breakfast when a patient walked through the door with a slew of family members.

The patient was very tiny. As I walked behind her, I couldn’t even tell she was pregnant. As I put her in the triage bed, she told me that she hadn’t felt her baby move since the night before. Tomorrow was her due date.

I put the monitor on her belly and heard nothing. Even though I knew at that moment…

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4 Responses To A Failed Adoption And How To Find Hope, by Mike Berry

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We were ecstatic when the call came in. The adoption agency we were working with had matched us with a birth mom and the outlook was very good. We were even invited to meet her, along with one of the agency’s social workers, at a local restaurant for lunch. We were nervous, but, we accepted.

In short, our time with her was beyond what we could have imagined or dreamed. We fell in love with her and she walked away from us feeling confident and ready to proceed. That was February. In early April, just a week before the baby was due, she changed her mind and disappeared, leaving us with nothing. If the plans we had made, and the dreams we were dreaming, were a building built with precision and ingenuity, we were watching it crumble floor by floor, right before our eyes, and we were devastated.

The adoption process brings with it the risk of failure. As much as I hate it, and wish I could make it not so, it’s the honest truth. Your birth mother may change her mind, even at the last second. The country you’re adopting from may close their gates and forbid adoptions at the drop of a hat. The child you’ve loved through trauma and pain, and planned to adopt once parental rights were terminated in foster care, may be swooped away and placed with an aunt in another state!

We’ve felt the crushing blow of this and we have many friends who have too. We’ve asked ourselves why? We’ve stood alone in anger and frustration, shaken our fists at the heavens and demanded an answer. We’ve sat with, and grieved with, families who have been rendered helpless by a birth mother’s change of heart, a judge’s ruling, or a country’s closure at the last second. Here’s what we’ve learned to do…

To Read More, follow the link below…


A Terminally ill 6-Year Old Boy Decides to Do Something Very Special With His Make-A-Wish Gift

A wonderful story… the mother of Levi, who is 6 years old and terminally ill, hopes that this story will inspire others who are in what must surely be one of the most difficult situations imaginable: that of knowing your child’s life will end long before your own does.  We can not help but be moved by the two amazing children in this uplifting story.  🙂

Kindness Blog

One Terminally ill 6-Year Old Boy and his Make-A-Wish GiftThis heart-breaking story is an example of extraordinary kindness between two children, it is also a grand lesson in how we all might attempt to act in life.

The Make-A-Wish Foundation is a well-known charity that aims to help terminally ill children realize their hopes and dreams, under otherwise terrible personal circumstances.

Whether it be a trip to Disneyland, or a meeting with a famous hero the Foundation has assisted in bringing a moment of happiness into the lives of countless children over the years.

However, this story among such hardship does stand out.

One Terminally ill 6-Year Old Boy and his Make-A-Wish Gift

In 2014, Make-A-Wish approached 6-year-old Levi Mayhew and gave him the opportunity to have his wish granted. Instead, he asked for his wish to be given to someone else – a 10-year-old girl from his school named Emma Broyer.

One Terminally ill 6-Year Old Boy and his Make-A-Wish GiftLevi has found a supportive and caring friend in Emma at school where she walks him to…

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‘Provocative’ theory links inner ear damage to SIDS deaths, by Susan Donaldson James


Darci and Robert Torres still have difficulty talking about the 2007 death of their 3-month-old daughter, Alia. They fed her, put her down to sleep, and a half hour later, she was unresponsive in her bassinet.

“It’s hard to go back there — it’s so painful,” said Darci, a 42-year old mother of four from Stockton, California. “How does a perfectly healthy baby fall asleep and not wake up?”


Photo Courtesy of the Torres family.  Alia Torres died of SIDS at 3 months old.

The Torreses were experienced parents and educated about sudden infant death syndrome: Alia slept on her back, the crib was free from blankets that might obstruct her breathing, and neither smoked.

But now, one scientist has a bold, new theory for why an estimated 3,500 babies a year succumb to SIDS, a mysterious and traumatic event that haunts parents for decades — inner ear dysfunction.

Dr. Daniel Rubens, an anesthesiologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital, had a hunch: If the part of the ear that controls balance is damaged, babies may be unable to reposition themselves when their breathing is compromised.

(To read more, follow the link below…)


November 17th is World Prematurity Day

WPD Collage FYBy Kirsteen McLay-Knopp

November is Premature Birth Awareness Month and November 17th Premature Birth Awareness Day.  Worldwide, 15 million babies are born too soon each year.  More than 1 million babies die due to complications of preterm birth and many of those who survive face a lifetime of disability. Raising awareness of premature birth, particularly around November 17th, can help improve facilities around the globe and give the best possible chance to these babies.


Parent groups, families, health professionals, politicians, hospitals, organisations and other stakeholders involved in preterm birth observe this day with media campaigns, local events and other activities conducted on local, regional, national or international levels to raise awareness among the public. In 2013 Premature Birth Awareness Day was celebrated in over 60 countries.

In the USA The March of Dimes Foundation embrace Premature Birth Awareness Month and Day.  The March of Dimes Foundation is a United States non-profit organisation that works to improve the health of mothers and babies. It was founded by then-President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1938 to combat polio.  It has since taken up promoting general health for pregnant women and babies.  As part of this a sponsored “March for babies” is held yearly in the USA, with proceeds going to neo-natal care facilities.

Baby MarchIn Australia, people make donations and wear a special premature birth awareness ribbon.

ribbonThe UK have a charity organisation called Bliss which focuses on premature and special care babies and also promotes awareness during the month of November and on November 17th.Bliss_Charity_Logo

Here in New Zealand we have “Early buds”, which provides a network of support and information about premature birth and other pregnancy and birth related issues (see link below).

Early Buds Logo

I was surprised to learn that this is only the 4th worldwide awareness day for prematurity: how could something so important not have been given voice sooner?  It is great that the links and networks around the world are now so strong and that the “little fighters” are being advocated for and their families supported.

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Follow links:






Baby Loss Awareness Week

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Just a short post here, as we at The Forever Years wish to acknowledge “Baby Loss Awareness Week”.   Baby Loss Awareness Week takes place from 9th to 15th October every year, ending with “International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Day” on October 15th. It provides an opportunity for parents, families and whanau around New Zealand to come together and remember the lives of their babies who have died. We acknowledge the lives and deaths of all babies, no matter what their gestation, length of life or how they died.

See links:



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