The other day I was at a baby shower for a friend of mine. A guest shows up late and loudly exclaims
“I’m sorry I’m late, but my kids were being such assholes!”
She laughs and continues on about how her children just feel the need to be “needy little bastards”. As she’s saying this she’s laughing and encouraging the other women in the group to agree with her.
I’m standing there, with a fake smile on my face, trying not to seem shocked.
You see, I have a very hard time when parents speak so negatively about their kids.
Our Thoughts Become Our Actions
Throughout my time working as a therapist, I’ve learned how powerful our thoughts are. When we attach negative thoughts to things, we will treat those things worse than if we think positively about them. This is true for ourselves, our husbands, and our kids.
If we think that our kids are assholes and bastards, we will treat them as such. We will not have as much patience, we will not be as kind, and the relationship can easily be strained because of it.
Even though I know this Mom is struggling, I can’t help but think that if she was able to change her thought patterns that she might have an easier time with her children.
“My child is not giving me a hard time. My child is having a hard time.”
It’s About Respect
For me, I try very hard to respect the people in my life. This means that I speak about them in a respectful manner.
Calling anyone in my family an asshole or bastard to someone else is not respectful at all. If I wouldn’t say those things with them standing in front of me, than I won’t say it to a group of people.
The last thing I want is for people to have negative impressions of my kids before they even meet them.
If I go around calling them names and telling everyone about how horrible they are, I’m setting them up to be disliked before they even have a chance.
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