Witty, Wise and Funny Kids… “from the mouths of babes”…

Kids' Quotes

I keep a notebook in which I write down interesting things our kids have said.  I don’t always get to it in time to record everything, but I try my best to write things down as soon as I can, while they’re still fresh in my mind.  Later (sometimes even a year or two later) I type up the quotations and put them in the appropriate child’s scrapbook or share them with grandparents or other family members.  These “kid sayings”, as we’ve labelled them, have brought us a lot of joy over the years, not least to our children who, as they grow older, love hearing the funny, quirky and sometimes even very wise and insightful things they said when they were “little”.  They even ask us, when we’ve forgotten about it, to read stuff out to them from the “kids’ sayings” book.

In the future, I imagine, having a book like this will be interesting… it can be brought out at 21st birthdays, weddings and other family occasions and, in years to come, their grandchildren may even read “kids sayings” spoken by their grandparents.  As well as this, I believe writing down these quotations from our kids’ “forever years” cherishes these special times and the children they are, as well as the people they are growing up to be (and yes, some of these quotations are less than angelic!).  I also find it a good way of “slowing down” and appreciating the kids.

I’m going to share some quotations from the past year or so here.  I’d love to hear whether anyone else writes down things their children say or makes videos or records their “forever years” in any other special way.  And I’d love to hear what things other parents felt were worthy of jotting down.  🙂






Big brother (9) to little brother (5) who had put his school shoes on the wrong feet:  Don’t wear them like that, or you’ll walk round and round in circles.

Little brother (5) looking at big brother (9)’s sports photo in which he had blinked at the wrong moment:  Wow, that looks really hard, especially if you have to do it with your your eyes shut like that!

Dad to 3 year old daughter: Why have you got bare feet?  Daughter: Because I’m not wearing any socks.

7 year old boy: Dad… [little sister age 3] said that when she was a baby she used to juggle elephants, is that true?  Dad (teasing): Yes, she was quite good at it.  Little Sister (modestly):  They were just little elephants.

3 year old girl:  All the girls in the world are ballerina princesses and all the boys are clowns.

3 year old girl with blue eyes to mother with brown eyes:  Maybe Jesus will help you to have blue eyes like me.

7 year old boy (not long after the Olympic games): So we have golden syrup, but why not silver syrup or bronze syrup?

5 year old boy while baking:  Do we keep the tablespoon in the garage?  Mum: No, why would we do that?  5 year old boy: Well a table spoon must be really big, like the size of a table.

7 year old boy at scouts, after being asked how to look after his hair (in order to get “health” badge):  You’ve got to brush it and check that no nits are in it.

7 year old boy:  Mum, I love you because you feed us and let us sleep inside.

7 year old boy:  Humans usually do stupid things when they get together in big groups.  Dad told me that.

7 year old boy:  Mum, I love you, because you’re good at keeping things alive, like us and the rabbit.

5 year old boy:  Mum, is our car a Hot Wheels car?  Mum:  What do you mean?  Boy: When you tip our car upside down, has it got “Hot Wheels” written on the bottom?

7 year old boy’s loving compliment to parents:  Mum, your skin is like wobbly jelly and Dad’s is like old, crusty pie.

3 year old girl with three older brothers:  When’s my penis going to grow in?

5 year old boy:  Dad, when are you going to shave off your fur?

9 year old boy on returning to school after the summer holidays:  I really like school, but I have to pretend to my friends that I don’t, because if you say you like school everyone thinks you’re a geek.

5 year old boy:  Boy nipples are just for decoration.  (And later): Boy nipples never grow up.

Mum to 4 year old daughter:  Are you going to finish your sandwich?  Daughter: No, I’m wasting it.

4 year old daughter after dog had been taken to the vet to be spayed: Will she be a different colour when she comes out?

4 year old daughter in pool:   I can touch the bottom now.  God stretched me!

Mum to 6 year old boy at 11pm:  Why aren’t you in your bed with the light off?  Why have you thrown toys all over the floor?  Boy: PARTY!

Brother and sister were playing with toy plastic animals the day after we had watched “Star Wars”.  Suddenly the boy said, very, very seriously: The zebra’s gone over to the dark side.

4 year old girl about her teddy:  I love her so much, I’ll keep her even when I’m really old, like 10 or 11.

7 year old boy: It’s weird how you can move your bottom jaw round a lot, but you can only move your top jaw if you move your whole head.

At garden shop, son (7): What’s that flower called, Mum?  Mum: An orchid.  Son:  An awkward?  Mum: No, an orchid. Son:  But it’s leaning over and it looks a bit awkward.  Are you sure you’ve got it right? 

4 year old girl:  It’s not nice to be mean to someone.  But if someone kicks you, you can kick them back and scare them with a rhinoceros mask.

6 year old son to Dad who was hammering when he was trying to watch TV:  Dad, turn that hammer down!

4 year old girl:  Mum, if I smash the TV will people come out of it?

4 year old girl giving Mum a goodnight hug around the neck:  Now you’re wearing a necklace made out of my arms.



4 thoughts on “Witty, Wise and Funny Kids… “from the mouths of babes”…

  1. I love reading things kids say. Your are precious. I have put the conversations I have with Brystol in book form for him to have one day.
    Thank you for sharing.

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